good meurning

so not in the mood for class today. Or pretty much anything for that matter. Must get going on thesis, must get going on thesis, must make appt with promotor. Must finish PTSD paper, must not upset anyone, must not get sick again, must go to class. I should rephrase all the 'musts' with 'wants', like a good psycho-girl, but I can't be bothered. I don't want to feel like a willing creature on this, I prefer feeling like a victim so I can stroke my own hair and go "poor me, poor poor misunderstood me, have a chocolate".

Weather is criminally gorgeous. Pollen are alive and I'm glad to see my hayfever has survived yet another winter. eurgh.

I seem to have a very bleak view of the future at the moment. been thinking far too much than is good for me lately. Can't see myself getting a nice job where I feel competent... cos me and competence is just too plain weird. can't see myself getting a job period. Don't see myself as pretty much anything.

Christ, i'm moaning again. Quit it!
Of to class with me.

|