Who makes up these things?

I swear, I always thought shows like The Office were taking the piss. But they're not are they. They're deadly serious.
This morning there was a 15 minute debate at work about what to do for the birth of the baby of an ex-employee. There are guidelines about what to do when the baby of an employee is born (even about how many people go to the funeral of which of your relatives), but none about what to do when the baby in question popped out of an ex-employee or his/her wife.
Card or present or both? And visit? What had they done with other employees, did the distance count, did the amount of time they'd worked there count, oh the questions!

Next Thursday afternoon is "do day" at work. A nice innocent way of putting "bloody teambuilding crap day". Someone please kill me. Or better yet, infect me with something highly contageous by then. Something that will keep me incapacitated for at least a week and is very infectuous. i don't want them to decide to spend their Do-day as a cycling trip to my sickbed!
The Secretary revealed a bit of the secret: it's not allowed to rain next Thursday afternoon.

That does not sound encouraging.
Germs, please?

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