Poor Kim

I'm too sensitive. Since I'm quitting my happy pills (don't try this at home) my sleep pattern is fucked up. I can't get to sleep and wake up during the night. Again, fucked. So at 7am I realised that the tennis must be over by now and switched on teletext. To find out Justine had won -yet again- over Kim.
I'm really really sad.
Good for Justine, I mean, she's been playing amazingly well the last year. But I wanted Kim to win so badly because of the pressure she must be under. The only (former) number one never to have won a grand slam (yet), who's played four grand slam finals without winning... every time it must be a little bit harder to get out there and believe in your chances. The pressure and fear of failure are probably a neverending cycle.
They would be for me.
I just hope Kim doesn't give up.

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GEZOCHT: Heteromannen

leeftijd: 23
wonend to Ingelm*****, maar rekent u haar daar aub niet op af!
communicatiebeheerster, PR dinges.
Sexy!
intelligent, grappig, bevriend met mij!
in het bezit van een hypermoderne (ahem) NissanMicra.
23-jarige deerne Ellen zoekt een lief. Een mannelijk lief van de heteroseksuele overtuiging. Gezien ik persoonlijk niet erg veel heteromannen ken, laat staan single heteromannen, dacht ik mijn blogje hiervoor te misbruiken. Komen hier uberhaupt wel single hetero mannen?? Nu, we zullen het gauw merken.
Wilt u een date met deze sexy jongedame?
Praten over haar aanwezigheid op een Pet Shop Boys concert in 2000? (nogmaals: homomannen, gelieve u te onthouden. Bedwing u)
Over de rol van de nietjesmachine in een bureaula of het verschil tussen paarden en barkrukken?
Eén adres: het deze
Haast u, voor deze schone zich tot Rendezvous.be moet wenden...

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SuperBowl

I'll never get it. But what the Superbowl is to America (and Madscot's husband) is what... erm... what the World Championship football (soccer, for the heathens) might be for us if Belgium was in the final. Or probably even more than that.
Apparently companies pay billions of dollars for some seconds of commercial time in the match and a Belgian company got 30 seconds for free for an (rather good I thought) ad for hiv-prevention. No snogging men or women in it (I don't think two blokes at it would go down well with the Superbowl public... i can see Madscot's OH muttering "oh bloody hell, it's everywhere, this slash thing!") but very well designed.
I thought.
But what do I know.

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Food for the West Wing

Flahaut, by far the most aesthetically challenged member of the Belgian Government, has apparently irked Washington. Did he ask his voters not to travel to the US "It's just a Grand Canyon and some McDonald's, don't bother"? Did he compare George Bush with a baboon's backside? No.
He just said he thought the US army was inefficient and that he'd vote for a democrat if he were a US citizen. Not a strange thing to say for a socialist, is it? It's as if you'd expect Ian Paisley (Northern Irish Radical Protestant Twit) to compliment Belgium on opening marriage to gay couples.
But Washington got hold of this info and is furious. Apparently Colin Powell was on the phone to Louis Michel, Minister of Foreign Affairs, this morning.
Now this begs the question, how on earth do they find out what a belgian politician says in an interview for a belgian magazine? Moreover, why do they even care?
But are there "spies" in Flanders, reading through everything and noting down criticisms on the US? Phoning the Embassey if it gets too "bad"? Is the White House equipped with an office of slaves interpreters, reading all the magazines from all over the world, ringing an alarm if something negative is in there? Is it the Satellites above Belgium that zoom in on unexpecting Humo Readers waiting for a train?
Do tell us Colin... I'd love to find out.
Even more laughable though, was the reaction of some opposition Idiots asking for Flahaut's resignation.
Ha!

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Ellens

I have an Ellen.
Do you have an Ellen too?
You should get one. Honestly. They're very handy.
Yesterday my Ellen was a bit down, a prolonged abscence of a Piglet can do that to an Ellen, so we spent some time together today.
We browsed in shops (damn! I want a new pair of trousers), had a drink and Ellen enlightened me about the new passions in her mother's life: Frans Bauer and Dana Winner.
She sang Frans Bauer at me.
And then I remembered that an Ellen has to be trained well before you can take them out in public!

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Realisme

De eerste twee gedichten omgewerkt,
van onleesbaar klad naar in het net,
op extra dik papier getikt en met de
hand getekend, wat al niet, en ze daarna

in vieren gevouwen in een envelop
geschoven, en de envelop voorzichtig,
ter hoogte van mijn hart, in het zakje
van mijn leren jack geborgen. Dan op pad.

R. zit in Café De Fiets als altijd bij de
flipperkast, zijn shagje rollend. Hij wil
een De Coninck, ik drink Spa. We praten
over de vakbond, Guido zijn gezondheid,

het weer. Zeg, vraag ik terloops, wat vind
jij eigenlijk van poëzie? Yèk, gedichten,
bah. Hij trekt zijn neus op. Ik moet opeens
denken aan de moedervlek rechts onder zijn

navel. Gedíchten, zegt hij, waarom vraag je
dat? Oh zomaar, zeg ik, en we praten voort
over het openbaar vervoer en Jules Croiset.
Een uitermate boeiend en verhelderend gesprek.

Tom Lanoye.

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E-mail

Beste,

Zoals u wellicht weet, is het Vlaams Blok een massale petitie begonnen
tegen het migrantenstemrecht. Nu, dat stemrecht komt er, al organiseert het
Blok nog veertig petities, daar niet van. Toch is die petitie opnieuw een
heel lelijk signaal naar de migrantengemeenschap in Vlaanderen. Daarom zou
ik u allen willen oproepen de petitie van Dirk Jacobs, docent aan de KUB, te
ondertekenen. Voor alle duidelijkheid: deze petitie is VOOR migrantenstemrecht.

U vindt de petitie op http://www.stemrecht-droitdevote.be. Hier dus. Er zijn
voorlopig 5800 ondertekenaars; op de Vlaams Blok-site zit men al aan 10.000. U zal het vast met me eens zijn dat we dat niet zomaar kunnen laten gebeuren.
Stuur deze mail dus zeker zoveel mogelijk door en vooral, teken zelf ook de
petitie.

PS: meer feitelijke informatie over het hoe en waarom van migrantenstemrecht vindt u op http://users.skynet.be/stemrecht-voor-migranten

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bruce, bruce and bruce

Couldn't sleep last night. So thanks to the time difference between here and Australia, I got to tennis. Yep, Clijsters till 4.30am.
Thank god there was no third set!
Lots of double faults, balls ending up in the net.. I don't see Kim winning her first grand slam on that level. Despite this I managed to get to sleep eventually.
Quite tired now.

|

bloody shameful for someone who calls himself a Labour MP.
If you want to follow higher education and you happen to live in the UK, you can only hope that your parents are rich.
Otherwise you start your working life with a huge debt...

|

vdab

De Vdab heeft me een werkaanbieding opgestuurd per post.
Interessant. Ik pluis zelf ook wel de computer uit, maar goed.
Er is echter een klein probleempje met de werkaanbieding: ze is voor een licentiaat pedagogiek in een instituut voor mensen met een verstandelijke beperking, en ze vragen ervaring.
Daar ken ik de ballen van.
Ik ben psycholoog, geen pedagoog.
Groot verschil.
En nu moet ik een strookje terugsturen met mijn redenen waarom ik al dan niet ga solliciteren naar die functie.
Tis sympathiek van de vdab hoor... maar euh... ja, de volgende keer misschien iets waar ik wél voor geleerd heb?

|

yeah baby, yeah!

How d'you like my dream car? Yep, that's what I'm saving up for, JohnnyMarina Tune style car 2004! In essence, the very type of car Dimi drives. What do you think, should I go for two exhaust pipes or three?
I've got the first batch of tapes from Nikki (erm sorry, from the University of Sheffield) to transcribe. Bunch of dutch guys. Very enjoyable! -ahem- Nah, it's ok. Piglet's got a job. More or less. Piglet's got something to do, let's put it that way.
Been driving. On my own.
-wild applause please-
My first drive alone was last Friday and I thought I'd make a habit of it, before it snows again and I'm homebound till it thaws (no chance they'll let me drive if it's slippery). How was it, you might ask. Or you might not ask because you don't really care. Well, for those who're interested. It was shit scary. Absolutely shit scary. But I felt quite good. I drove like hell, but I drove. On my own. So yeah, go me. I might get that license after all. Someday.

|

plants

Minister Ceysens is starting a campaign to promote plants in companies. Go her! "Why Piglet" you might think "Did you find a job? Did your heart stop aching and tearing apart at the mention of jobs?". Well no. Thanks for bringing that up. But the girlfriend and me have been going through some serious bickering whenever we talk about living together.
I love plants. I need them. I have one sorry excuse for a plant on my wardrobe (pathetic since Baloo amputated it) and my sweetie's big compromise is that I can bring that plant when we live together. One plant.
Even the minister says they're crucial to our wellbeing!
I think it's off to the infoshop for me... bringing back as many brochures as I can find!

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Eurovisie deel twee!

Juich hart, juich, het is weer Eurosongtijd. En waar zouden we zijn op een zondagavond, zonder flikkerende nichten, zonder Ijslandse baljurken en creatieve theemutsen (copyright baloo en natuurlijk ook dimi).
Het volledig pigletiaans verslag kan je hier lezen.

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this is a low
but it won't hurt you
when you're alone
it will be there with you
finding ways to stay solo

I do hope I got the lyrics right. This is from one of the earlier Blur CDs... parklife I think. And for some reason I'm stuck with this song in my head, even though I haven't heard it in years.
Should put it on.

I'm not the happiest of bunnies today, but surely that'll pass. I'm beginning to think that "unemployed" is going to be my profession forever. Got an e-mail from a girl from Uni yesterday, asking for us to meet up again, with a circle of friends. Now, the thing is, I never really did like that girl. I'm afraid to admit this. And I know one of the girls has a job and the other is studying something else now. No clue what the other one's up to. Maybe it's just selfish, but I don't want to meet up if it means listening to how great their life is going whilst mine is ... well... not going too brilliantly, careerwise.

It's Buffy in a minute.
I really really can't be arsed.
The last ever episode. I've been thoroughly spoiled (my own choice) and it sucks big time. As did the whole last series in my honest opinion.
They should've quit while they were ahead. Series 5 perhaps. Or series 6 at the least.
Thank god there's Eurovision tonight to soften the blow of my current existential crisis eh.

Atari thought it necessary to convey the message of my so-called huge head on his blog. Now, I do not have a huge head. I have a nice, normal shaped head with plenty of room for a massive brain with the many neurons that inhabit it. Atari is just jealous because he strikes a good resemblance to Officer Pleakley from Lilo&Stitch here.
Ha!

|

see boy strange
on the horizon of love.

-turns off Pet Shop Boys random lyric generator-
I've just come back from driving. It's a strange feeling, this driving aimlessly, just to get a feel for it. I didn't crash into anything or anyone, though I got very close to an old cyclist.
Bloody cyclists! Clogging up the roads!

Got a dinnerdate tonight with the girlfriend... and her whole bloody class.
It's important I make a good impression -other than that of the unemployed old loser girlfriend-. So what shall I go for?

- The intellectual? ("ooooh but when Freud wrote "Zur Psychopathologie der Alltagslebens...")
- The funny one? (-pokes- "that wasn't me! hahaha")
- The down-to-earth stupid girl ? ("anyone see that amazing programme on Christina Aguilera?? I was like dude... woah!")
- The sultry lover? ("oh no, I don't eat... it's not good for my sex drive... miaow")
- The arrogant snooty bitch? ("kindly eat with your mouth closed, it's most unbecoming... ")
- The butch dyke? ("Yo, babe! Hungry! Gimme the salad, there's a good girl" -burp-)
- The queen? ("oooooooooooooh what a fabulous outfit you have on. It's so you!")
- The low self-esteem desperate girl? ("Well... I don't have a job at the moment... not for lack of trying! I'm not lazy or anything! But it's not as if I'm bad at interviews either! I just.. erm I don't have experience you see! And... and... pass me the salad?")
- The passive aggressive woman? ("Heh, job? No, not right now... erm. Look, Drop it alright! Drop it! Let's see how you do come September eh!")
- The jealous wife? ("Why was she staring at you? I could see it. I can tell. Why is she... hey! Hey you! Why are you staring at my babe?!")
- The embarrassment? ("Ooh you're *****? Melissa's told me all about you, I heard you're really stupid!")
- The oldtimer? ("Well, when you get to my age, things like that just don't matter anymore kids...")

-switches PSB lyric generator back on-
I sometimes think that I'm too many people...too many people at once.

|

Ab Fab menopause

Group Leader: I am glad to be in the menopauze. I have hot flashes, memory loss and sometimes when I sneeze... I pee.
Beth: Beth DeWoody! I can't sleep at night, but at the wheel of a speeding car, I'm out like a light! I feel the sands of time trickling through my hourglass!
Patsy : Patsy Stone! I hope you're wearing thick pants!
Eddie: Edina Monsoon! Stand on a bloody bin bag!!

Pieter Aspe kan er nog iets van leren!

|

Gran

My gran needed someone to drive her to the hospital, to visit my grandad who -despite several "near death" warnings by the hospital staff- is still as chipper as a nearly-80 year old man suffering from Alzheimer's and cancer can be.
So what did she do?
She phoned my dad's boss (who's an old friend of the family) and asked if he could have a couple of minutes off around 3pm to drive her. After that she phoned my dad to inform him he'd be driving her to the hospital.

Nice...

|

And then there was hair...










More?
Try Merlina for a before and after
Fuckfashion for a makeover special
and for a 360° slide show...

|

ooh-ah just a little bit

A little bit more!

Ahem.
These are the last hours that the girlfriend and I can claim we're an a-typical lesbian couple. We don't fit the butch/fem stereotype (much). In a couple of hours all that will change because of Atari's hairdresser. I'm not sure how we're gonna survive...

In other -less important news- some Catholic cardinal talked about how we (poofs and dykes) are all perverts and how the right to vote should be changed (back to the old times when some people had five votes and others one)... brilliant! Glad to see dementia kicks in early!

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update

2 rejection letters in a day. It's been a while.
Spent the day being a professional "book summarizer" for my babe. She's got to defend her project tomorrow and pretended to summarize a book when she didn't. So I did it. She can now put it in her folder and they can look mightily impressed by it all.
Drove out to get a loaf of bread. Oh how decadent!
But it was about time I was behind the wheel again. When I think that I could have already taken my exam, I get the shivers... it's awful. I feel like a huge lazy failure.
No Red Bull today. Feel tired.

Yesterday's interview was beyond unreal. I'd applied for this job teaching english in a private school, one of those studyhelp things. They'd phoned me twice saying how urgent it was, asking me to bring a copy of my degree and everything... got me thinking I was the only candidate! Then I go, and I meet with this guy for all of ten minutes. He looks me over, tells me how the center works, asks me two questions but doesn't seem particularly interested in the answer and then ends the conversation. He said they had a lot of other offers as well (probably by people actually qualified to teach English!) and -if they decided to try me out- I'd be phoned sometime this week for a "test lesson". Where they come and look in on the class (to check how dynamic, personal and interactive you are. urgh). Brilliant.
Even if they do call me back -which I doubt- I'll be the first to fuck up during a "test class". I'll be so nervous I'll forget my own name, let alone anything english....

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STOP! (In the name of love)

To all employers.
Kindly refrain from doing this:

-Making people come for an "interview" that consists of five minutes in which you talk and explain and don't ask anything. Granted, the interviewee can practise his or her "nodding" but it's not all that.
-Not reading a CV before you see the person.
-Nearly asking them to do a little twirl so you can see all of them up close.
Thank you.

On another note, does anyone know how you can find out an IP address from someone you're talking with on MSN?

|

De eerste voorrondes

Het liefje bestudeerde vooraf de informatie uit het televisieblaadje en zette zich voor de tv met een notablok op de schoot. Voor ons geen laptop, maar good old handgeschrijf. Eerst vond ik deze actie ietwat overdreven, maar al tijdens het eerste nummer voelde ik het kriebelen: hier werd geschiedenis geschreven. Dus nam ik er ook mijn winnie de poeh-schriftje bij.

Lees Verder

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musing

Handball in a while. I'm the official photographer on call. It's also the last match my babe will play with her long hair nicely tucked away in a decent low ponytail.
I'm wondering how the different hairstyle will change her game...
People form opinions of you depending on how you look, right? I mean, if you see Tjuppe, you can immediately tell Basketball is a game for wussies. (heehee) I think that if opponents see the girlfriend on the court, all petite and nicely long-haired, they think she's a pushover. They find out they're wrong rather soon.
It's our hypothesis that the referees also fall into that trap. In all the time I've been to handball matches (a year now) she only got a two minute penalty once. That's probably less than anyone else. And it's amazing what she gets away with...she can be a right bitch on court...! I'm wondering if -starting next week- she'll be getting more two minute penalties because of her rebel haircut.
They might come in handy.
Give her a chance to breathe a little on the bench.
And wave at me.

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Professor Snape's American??

Finally watched Dark Harbor. (thank you Madscot)
Shock: Alan with a fake texan accent. He drops it somewhere halfway through the film to end up with it again after a while. The moments where his British English come through are forever cherished.
The moment where he snogs the bloke as well.
Decided I need a zoom on my DVD.

Apart from that I don't understand the film really.
I might be stupid.
Or the film might be weird.
Or I might have been too shocked by the American accent.

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Meh

As littlemoose would say.
It's proving to be a bit of a strange day today. The Girlfriend woke up yesterday night as I was reading and said "What are you doing? I've got to get to school you know". Yep, I know babe, just not at 1am eh? She went back to sleep peacefully after that. Till she woke up all babbling and cheerful at 7am. Urgh. Too early.
Woke up from a dream this morning (well, at 11am) that involved me needing to go to the loo but people (men) opening the door of the toilet every time i sat down to pester me. I tried to kick them (one of those Charlie's Angels impressive high kicks) but my leg was too short...I couldn't reach them. Weird.

And now I should vacuum, should go grocery shopping... but I just can't be arsed. It's too energy-consuming.
No new vacancies for me on the jobsite.
My hair smells of my dad's shampoo (thought I'd go for a change) and I feel a headache coming on.
Must snap out of this.

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VDAB spam

" Bent u nog werkzoekend , dan hoeft u niet te reageren. Wij zullen u
binnenkort contacteren en u indien nodig uitnodigen naar de werkwinkel"

Fantastisch.
Binnenkort mag ik me gaan verantwoorden.

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some notes

-I woke up this morning to find my new (secondhand) copy of Literally by Chris Heath having arrived from the UK. (viva Ebay! Viva person I bought it from!)
-A bit later my dad had picked up my very own Nemo from the bookshop... saved for it with coupons from my gran's newspaper. (viva crap newspapers!)

-the girlfriend brought out her inner Dominatrix and texted me a list of assignments for today: pick up her portfolio from her internship, arrange an appointment with Atari's hairdresser. (viva hair!)
- My mother let out a scream when I told her what Miss Merlina intends to do with her hair, shouting out "you're not gonna do that as well are you". What? I can't think for myself and will blindly follow Ms Merlina?
Well... granted if it looks cool I might be tempted to go all Siamese Twin on her and get a similar haircut. But then Atari,Baloo, Merlina and me will be interchangeable... and that's not really the idea is it?
Or is it....?
- I'm listening to the Nicole & Hugo song for the eurovision preselections. Oh dear...


Job interview yesterday went well. Apart from a few minor details.
1. The big Boss was from where I live and had apparently been in Parliament as a replacement of... -gulps- Stefaan de Clerck.
2. He repeated everything three times. (Especially the fact that he'd been in Parliament)
3. The job itself is a pregnancy replacement of a pregnancy replacement. The psychologist got pregnant and now hér replacement is also pregnant. She can only work for one day with the new replacement and then they have to fend for themselves. You get it, a job that requires ex-pe-ri-ence.
4. Who wants to works in a village (where the girlfriend's ex lives) that's even too small to be called a village! In the right middle of nowhere.

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happy birthday dear blog!

It's my first birthday

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why?

Why did I worry when my period was late?
My premenstrual days are over. I am now happily back in the land of the cramped, painful, tired and grumpy.
I do apologise to my male readers, who probably don't want to read about this kind of thing. Tough luck. I don't want to read about your toilet habits, jerking off or smelly socks either but you inflict it upon me anyway.
Ah well. The battle of the sexes. Always fun to start the day with.

I must say I'm immensely enjoying the programme Child of Our Time (on BBC1 and Canvas). For anyone interested in (developmental) psychology, it's a must-see! Not only is the programme very informative, it's also great fun to watch.
Plus the kids are cute.

For those who don't know what it's about, the programme follows babies born in January 2000 from all over the UK (in all social layers) from the moment they're born till they're 20 years old, in 2020. In this latest batch of programmes the kids are three. It's totally fascinating to see how kids evolve over time. How their character changes or stays the same and how the parents evolve as well.
Each programme focuses on different aspects. E.g. Why are some kids shy and others not? Is it simply a matter of experiences or is it how you're born? How much of our memories are real and invented? How does their language develop? etc etc...
It's a series I hope to be following for the full 20 years... even though by then I'll be... *gulps* 39.....

|

Piglet will be making money!

Yes, it pays to have friends in high places.
Or friends with a job at least!
Nikki got me the transcribing/translating job.
From my home.
Behind my computer.
With time for blogging.
Earning money.
Thank you Nikki!!!!

Piglet also has a job interview tomorrow afternoon, but doesn't expect too much from it. It's with kids and they asked for experience. But hey, it'll be a nice outing for the day won't it. Just hope I don't feel too stupid afterwards.

|

cos I would die for you

I'm sorry, my random Eurovision-lyric-generator must be still on.
I'll switch it off.
Had a phonecall from Nikki today. Nikki works at the University of Sheffield, doing something European there. Apparently they need someone to transcribe and translate Flemish and Dutch interviews, would I be interested.
Hell yes.
So I'm hoping this doesn't fall through.
-fingers crossed-

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Paranoia!

"get your mother off drugs - the truth about paxil"

This was on the haloscan comment window just now as I was commenting on Melissa's blog.
Was the window speaking to me?
How did it know my mother? How did it know me?

Paxil, if I'm not mistaken is known as Seroxat overhere... a relatively new antidepressant, but under fire for its addictive characteristics. You see, the brilliance of the SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors: drugs that allow for more serotonin (the neurotransmitter for positive feelings) in the brain) was that they were allegedly not addictive. This unlike the earlier antidepressants. But now, if you search for Paxil or Seroxat in google, you'll find support groups, extensive BBC research, articles, pages by angry "consumers", oh... and a site where you can just order them without a prescription.

After posting the message I went back to click on the link -intrigued as I was- but it had disappeared in favour of one for "thinking chaos, thinking fences".
Damn!

|

muziekhelp

Er is een nieuw liedje dat ik leuk vind. Maar ik weet niet hoe het heet. Misschien vindt iedereen met smaak het wel slecht, waarvoor dan mijn excuses, maar ik zoek de naam ervan. Het gaat euhm... "doodoodoodoo doodoodoodoo doodoodoodoo doodoodoodoodeuh" :)
Dit helpt niet echt zeker?
Er zit maar één zin tekst in die in een vocoder lijkt ingesproken te zijn.
En ik denk dat TMF de muziek gepikt heeft als nieuwe promoclip...
Ideeën?

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nearly a year old

My blog will be one year old on Wednesday.
Probably a good reason to burn my archives, especially those of that first fateful day. Or not.
I remember I posted a lot about my mother and how much she annoyed me last year. I'm afraid I can't say much has changed since then. Her new habit now is to wake me up with the phrase "good morning, the weather is shit".
Hmmm...
Now what can one say to that?
"Good morning to you too mum, what do you care since you probably won't leave the house anyway. But thanks for giving me a thoroughly depressing start of the day."?

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sports personality of the year

Kim Clijsters was voted Belgian Sports Personality of the year by (flemish) sportsjournalists and the (flemish) public. Justine Henin-Hardenne came second and was the only Walloon in the running.
Now I have to say I love Kim. I truly do. If there was no Melissa and no Lleyton and she were that way inclined, I'd be madly in love with her.
But no-one can deny that Justine Henin-Hardenne had better results than Kim this year. Sure, Kim was the first Belgian ever to become number one, but Justine won two Grand Slams and ended the year as Number One!
I like Kim better than Justine. If they're playing against each other I always cheer for Kim, even though I think Justine's game is more refined. I find Kim friendlier, more sociable, cuter (so what, I'm sexist) and it's probably to do with the fact that she's Flemish as well. Justine speaks French and that's an immediate barrier to identify with her. Silly? Perhaps, but true.
Still I can't deny being angry at this result tonight.
Justine should have won. It's as simple as that. And I'm pretty sure Kim feels that way too. It's a poisoned gift, this trophy.

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one-hundred-and-eieieieieieieieieieghty!

You might have read it on the girlfriend's blog.
I am ill.
We both are in fact.
It's not even Ahnuld from yesterday.
It's worse.

It all started when I couldn't sleep Monday night. I started channelhopping and landed at an event sure to put me to sleep: the World Darts Championship.
Since then I've landed on it every night before going to sleep. I started... staying up to see the ending of a "leg", or even a "set". Maybe it's the heartwearming hilarity of it all: The "athletes" enter the room (which looks like a gigantic pub) to the tones of their favourite song (Terrible clichés such as Eye of the Tiger or Livin' on a Prayer) and are followed by an old guy carrying the flag of their country. How WWF can you get?
Perhaps it's the care they take in the jewellery on their arms, knowing those will be on camera all the time, especially the left one with which they pull the darts from the board... Gold watches and rings are mandatory. Or it might be their crazy supporters who dress up as their hero's nickname (Viking, Lambchop, King,...) or as their nationality (seas of orange).

It's probably just that I need a job.
Quick.
Or I'll be watching curling next!

- Right now Melissa is saying things about cellulite, old ladies' bosoms (in the audience) and I wouldn't be surprised if she enters the Andy Thingie (the fattest one)'s fanclub...-

|

five minutes

Watching some Ahnuld catastrophe. Something Science Fiction. About cloning.
That's three warning signs *not* to watch a film, but we've ignored every one of them and quite happily gaze at the screen.

Spent the day in traffic jam (due to some bridge they're building) and in a sportshall (in Evergem) watching my babe be the queen of the match. Win of course. Then home, now Ahnuld.
Quality Saturday night!
We were going to go to Bruges with Atari and Baloo, but decided against it, due to the lateness of our handball return and how bloody tired we both are. Shame. I'd have liked to counsel Atari's much-discussed scarf. My new one (courtesy of Mac) looks a bit like it. Only mine's manlier....

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when I'm driving in my car

Piglet went driving again, after Wednesday's disaster.
It went alright.
I won't say fluently, but alright.
I only needed two parking spaces to park the car in!
I only forgot to signal once!
We picked up my dad from work and I managed to keep my nerves in check and not throw him out of the car. He managed not to criticise my every move.
I'm still struggling with declutching (ontkoppelen). I leave it pushed in too long, don't know why... probably because I'm scared the engine will shut down if I don't. Any tips on how to get rid of this habit?

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Giddy

I made a purchase through Ebay!
Bought a Pet Shop Boys book, for only 6 euro.
Problem: how do I get the money to the UK?
The seller asked for Paypal (but I don't have a credit card) or cash.
Sending cash's illegal right?
But even if I don't mind the illegal bit, what's he gonna do with a one-euro coin?

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Horny. Horny horny horny.
let's see how many referrals from google this gets me.

No, but seriously, this is not about me.
It's about another vixen.
The ultimate arrogant queen.
The lady and ruler of this household:
My cat Dotte.

Usually, she's her arrogant self. With the girlfriend and me she's the sweetest -yet stuckup- cat. But with others... She greets people she doesn't know with a glare (apart from a few exceptions), only allowing them to pet her on *her* terms, when *she* wants it. If they're too enthousiastic she rewards them with her claws. It simply doesn't do to show that much eagerness.
She only hunts moths. Sometimes. Usually she's too busy washing herself, stretching or sleeping. One has to have priorities of course. If she has her mind set on lying in my sofa she'll take her place whenever my back is turned. And you have to sit on top of her before she'll get out again. It's *hers*.
Fair enough.
Behaviour you'd expect from any self-respecting cat.
But lately she's really letting the side down. She went so far as allowing her old arch nemesis Ellen to pet her today.

She's horny. (Dotte, not Ellen. Although...)
She lets out these truly heartbreaking cries. She rubs herself against every surface. Even sits in the sink. Probably to cool certain parts of her anatomy down.
My Dotte even has to be horny on her own terms. Not when the rest of the cat world is.
So now we can only wait for it to go away. And mind where we stroke her....
Unless anyone's got any remedies?

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We're S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G
We're shopping

Piglet's second attempt at finding a sweater/shirt/pullover to spend her birthday money on.

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Villains

I love villains.
The good ones. The funny ones. The ones played by Alan Rickman usually. Or Jason Isaacs in a blond wig.
But I've discovered that the voice of Jeremy Irons works for me as well.

Whilst watching The Lion King I couldn't help thinking JK Rowling must have seen it as well. And might have gotten her Gryffindor/Slytherin (and cannonfodder) idea from it.
Simba and his dad are brave do-gooders. And also stupid erm... rather naive. They act before they think. Remind you of a certain house?The evil lion has green eyes, he's an aristocrat first class with keen intelligence and fantastic sarcasm.
A little quote: (Scar catches a mouse) "Life's not fair, is it? You see, I... well, I shall never be king. And you... shall never see the light of another day. Adieu."
Now does that remind you of certain people?
Isn't that "very Lucius Malfoy"?
No? Well, I've got more proof! Check out how much they look alike when I dye Scar's hair blond!!


Or what about this Snape-like conversation between Simba and Scar...

Young Simba: Hey, Uncle Scar! Guess what?
Scar: I despise guessing games.
Young Simba: I'm going to be King of Pride Rock.
Scar: Oh Goodee.
Young Simba: My dad just showed me the whole kingdom. And I'm gonna rule it all. Heheh.
Scar: Yes, well forgive me for not leaping for joy. Bad back, you know.

Yes.
Yet another one of life's mysteries unravelled. By Me.

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Beste Vrienden

Ik heb voor u gesongwatched.
En ik wil vandaag mijn licht laten schijnen op het huidig lievelingsliedje van Merlina: het onhoorbare "te min voor anja" van de fake-muppets Spring.
De tekst gaat over een "arme luis" die "te min" is voor een rijke jongedame genaamd "Anja", volgens "die ouwe" ofte haar vader.
"Die Ouwe" gooide "de arme luis" uit zijn huis (ja, het rijmt) en daardoor laat de "arme paljas" de "wondermooie griet" (Anja) "zijn rug zien" wanneer zij op een "feest" in een "keet" aangeeft hem wel te zien zitten.
Begrijpt u wat ik hier bedoel, beste lezers? Omdat de vader van Anja bevooroordeeld is tegen zingende muppets zonder geld -iets waar Anja haarzelve niets aan kan doen- wil die breedsmoelkikker haar niet meer. Anja wordt hier zowaar dubbel gestraft!
En dat zingt de jeugd van tegenwoordig zomaar mee! Een lied zonder degelijke moraal!
"Ik was wie ik was, een arme paljas, een levensgroot gevaar, voor haar, voor haar". Neen Scheurmond. Een levensgroot gevaar voor de maatschappij, dat bent U!
Gegroet,
Vrouwe Pigleta. Mediawatcher.

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shut up, just shut up shut up
(no, not you)

- I've decided to give up on driving, find me a rich sugardaddy/mommy and get a car with chauffeur. I'm crap at it. Nearly rammed a car in the side. No good.
- Hit my head on the door. Ouch.
- The girlfriend made a pass at Tsjuppe. Read about it here.
- Should be writing application letters for jobs that require "experience" or "maturity". -snort-
- Need to work for Dubbelpunt. Make newsletter. Update site.
- Still need to make cds for the girlfriend.
- Not been able to sleep well for three nights in a row now. Shut up, just shut up shut up brain!
(- still no period. I'm late. D'you reckon I'm pregnant?)

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need some anger?

If your blood pressure is too low, you need to vent some aggression or you're a masochist, you can try this site. Doctor Makow (PhD) has written an interesting article called "The conspiracy against heterosexuals" on his site "savethemales.ca".
No, he's not American.
Yes, I'm sure that surprised you too.
Some little snippets?

"Men have a profound psychological need to possess a woman and women have a similar need to be possessed. Remember, marriage is about becoming one."

"Gays and lesbian activists pretend they only want tolerance when in fact they want to seduce "straights" and change the heterosexual character of society in general. The demand for gay marriage should be viewed in this context.
The goal is to get women to stop having children. One method is to promote homosexuality, or gender feminism, which is lesbianism. It has worked."

He's obviously not met my girlfriend yet. She looks at my stomache not with lust or love, but with the thought "hmm wonder how many babies will fit in there".
But yes, he's caught us out! It is working! Slowly we are overturning society! We plan to rule it and govern over it and put every resisting heterosexual man in prison or execute them on the spot. The world will be a barren place full of orgies and promiscuity. No work will be done, there'll be only sex!
*cue evil laughter*

Found through Dust from a Distant Sun

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Informatici gezocht voor VDAB site

-SESSION EXPIRED
Sedert de vorige actie die je hebt uitgevoerd en deze laatste actie is te veel tijd verstreken.
De tijd tussen 2 acties mag maximaal 30 minuten bedragen.

Gelieve terug te keren naar de homepage, en je acties van daar opnieuw te beginnen. -

De VDAB vind-een-job site ligt plat. Telkens ik me probeer aan te melden krijg ik bovenstaande boodschap. Het is duidelijk, ik word gesaboteerd in het zoeken naar werk.
Het is dus niet mijn schuld als jullie me in juni dopgeld moeten uitbetalen!
Ik heb dan maar zelf de zoektocht in handen genomen en mezelf wat aangeprezen voor eventuele werkgevers in de rechterkolom.

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Kill the monkeys!

Not only are the odds of me finding a job decreasing every day, now I've got to fight competition of MONKEYS as well! Well, not me specifically since I don't really "care" for people with a handicap (sorry, limitation), but maybe the girlfriend will find herself replaced by a hairy big-eared tiny creature (and I'm not talking Freddie here).
Yep, the Americans (who else?) are training monkeys to help in the care of people with motor handicaps. They apply dentures, they reach toothbrushes and open microwaves... basically, they do the little shit jobs that people like the girlfriend are studying for and actually want to do.. even with bad hours and pathetic pay. A highly aggressive idea in these times of mass unemployment!!
So, dear comrades, listen to auntie piglet before they get in giraffes, baboons, lions, piglets (!) to do your job... stop this madness! Let's raid the American Embassey -bring along Gaia, they'll protest anything that has animals in the title-. Just because they've got a baboon for president doesn't mean that those animals are fit to do other jobs as well!
Hasta la victoria!!! Siempre!!

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Kan de persoon...
die zich in dit profiel herkent een seintje geven?...

Tijdens een reis naar Scandinavië (die fjords zijn onvergetelijk) met de broer geniet u van een glaasje mmmmmelk. U hart slaat over als u een nest kleine katjes ziet spelen. In de jeugdherberg daarnet keek u naar Lars Von Trier films en ook naar een comedy met Paul Whitehouse. Iemand belt je op, het is een verkeerd nummer... "idioot" zeg je "het is 65, niet 63. Bovendien, ik word deze vrijdag 24 dus ik heb geen behoefte aan een cadeautje voor mijn eerste communie!".

En dit alles heb ik over u ontdekt door te surfen... Scary!

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Fact

12.7% of all Belgians are unemployed.
In Flanders (where I live) it's less, yet still high: 8%: 6.7% of all men and 9.7% (!) of all women.
So I'm not alone.
For some reason I'm really sad about this.

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update

Am listening to Popart at the moment. (Art) It's a bit silly buying a singles compilation when you already have all the singles on their different albums. But I couldn't not buy it. I mean, I'm a Pet Shop Boys fanatic. I need to have everything otherwise they might revoke my membership.
Watched Darts yesterday night when I couldn't sleep. I feel I'm hitting new lows all the time :)
There's no new jobs on the jobssite. I'm not in the mood to vacuum just yet, even though I really have to. And I'm not even hyped about having time to read the story recced by Titti.
Could it be I miss the girlfriend?

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there's some strange people out there...

Just a handful of the words people look for in google , only to end up at my site... what a disappointment
- Liliane St Pierre leather (2!)
- Bloody lesbian fight (1)
- Gareth Gates shoe size (the nitwit that was second in Uk's Pop Idol) (1)
- vredig lesbisch (1) (peacefully lesbian)
- Lauren Ambrose red pubic (1)
And then I've not even mentioned the guy looking for a "horrible sexual wildebeest". At least I assume it's a guy...

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two-week girlfriend sleepover

Results:
- a messy desk
- a Winnie the Pooh-daycalender that still hasn't found its way to the wall
- a bottle of still water (Vittel) (eurgh) on the nightstand
- a pair of too-trendy shoes that didn't fit her bag
- a "wedding classics" CD to compile for the mother-in-law
- a CD to compile for a classmate
- Barbie surprise-egg wrapper on the computerdesk
- stolen socks on her feet
- my hat and gloves disappeared into her coatpockets
- dustbunnies
- an empty room...

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kids and toys

The girlfriend got a digital camera (from herself) for Christmas. She's just like a kid with a toy! She's been checking her camera every two minutes, taking photos of about everything you can imagine (I had to stop her taking a picture of my nostrils) and forced me to make a photo gallery for her at 2am yesterday night.
Ok, so she didn't put a gun to my head but I could tell it would break her heart if I didn't try yesterday.
It also means I got to take pictures of the pressies I got from my overseas pals and could show them they'd arrived well and I was happy. I can now also show you all my Chick Keychain (I got from her for my birthday, together with the DVD of the Lion King!!) and if ever you need a picture of me to hang above your bed.... well, that can be arranged too from now on.

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puts on fake geordie accent

"Belgium has poisoned the mind of the World Idol votahs! Peeeter Evraaaaa got thuuurd place, and the Norwegian guy won!"

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SPOED!

An exciting night yesterday evening! A full photo report will be on the girlfriend's blog in a while (once we figure the ins and outs of her new digital camera out) but for now I can tell you that we had dinner with Frederic and Gino. (Melissa cooked, I sliced vegetables and turned stuff around in the pan! oh yes!) We went to see the fireworks on the beach of Ostend, we paid a nice visit to the nearest casualty and we went to a very bad party in Ghent where we met up with Misters Atari and Hullabaloo.
What?
You want me to go back a bit?
Casualty?
Oh yes. Well, don't worry. It's not as if it was anything serious. No fireworks accident, no fight, no cooking accident, not even a this-bottle-fell-into-my-arse-now-I-cant-get-it-out-again-thing. No, you see, whilst going to the beach, Frederic fell off the stairs and apparently tore the joint thingies (gewrichtsbanden)in his right foot. He begged and pleaded the doctor not to put his foot in a cast (they didn't have any pink ones), so he got a tight bandage and painkillers.
Yep, the new year's eve I'll never forget!
I was very disappointed there were no people being brought in with "GSWs to the chest, MVA victims, crosstype O neg" type thingies... No hunky doctors or nurses either... too much ER? What a missed opportunity!

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Money!

Piglet has money!!!
Long live grandparents and parents!
They provide poor people with money during these kind of times.
Now, don't start a "let's beg Piglet for handouts" campaign... I only have enough money to buy myself a pair of jeans that actually fits (as in: doesn't hang off my arse like another person could be in there with me) and a sweater or two.
Yes!

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