Mix tapes

if I walk down this hallway, tonight,
It's too quiet, So I Pad through the dark
and call you on the phone
Push your old numbers
and let your house ring
till I wake you ghost.

Since my car has an ancient tape radio and I'm tired of listening to the new tapes I made over and over again, I dug out my old compilation tapes. Memories from when I was 15-16 and put them in my walkman during my cycling trips (trips to nowhere, just for the exercise), my alternative phase, tapes from the radio including white noise from when I walked in front of it, tapes from my pen pal (including the famous "how do I get through the exams alive" tape...) and tapes I made for others and copied for myself.
It's a trip down memory lane with "your ghost" (see above), numerous spice girls songs (oh shaddup), other even more embarrassing songs I liked ("Shut Up and Sleep with me" anyone remember this?), De Afrekening 1996 and others...

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What a girl!

"Do you want to learn how to park?"
"Why bother, everywhere has valet"

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Seaside

One of my families (work) lives by the seaside. At a three minute walk from the sea. They weren't at home today. Protocol (or good sense) then requires that you give them an extra 15 minutes, just in case they got home later than they thought they would. Of course mine had just forgotten the appointment, which I knew, but I thought I'd ignore that and take the fifteen minutes anyway. Enough time for me to sit and read my book at the seaside, looking over at the bikini-clad women, the beerguts and the waves of the sea.
As I was sitting there, sharing a bench with two old ladies talking about the suicide of some woman who'd had kids, a bloke got my attention. He was talking into his mobile loud enough for the whole coastside to hear. I was just texting the girlfriend, telling her how annoying he was (and trying to make her jealous with the statement that I was gazing at the sea), as he put the phone down. And came over to me. He was so sorry to disturb me, could he give me this flyer? For a "topdisco". "Thanks" I said, not meaning it for a minute, and looked at my book again. But no... what was I doing there, was I on holiday, where was I from... And no ten seconds later the bloke was telling me his life story. How he didn't have a girlfriend and didn't know how to go about finding one ("some people say you mustn't look for them, others say you should, what do you have to believe"), he didn't have a car either and worked four days a week, he enjoyed waterskiing and went to a fitness club in Ostend, he also took part in mountainbike races and still lived with his parents at 38. He rattled off his story, without pausing for breath and then asked... "was I engaged? Married?" "erm... engaged, engaged!!" I stuttered. Ah yes, he'd thought I was, but then there were people who still slept around even though they had a partner (did I detect a glimmer of hope in his eyes?) and he just rewound his life story. Again with the not having a girlfriend, the fitness, the lack of a car and how he hoped he would one day find a woman for him.
I tried to make my excuses as politely as possible.
He'd see me around perhaps, he said.
Sure...

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The unemployed

Today, I went and stared at the unemployed.
Not in some anthropologist way, I did not take notes, I wasn't even there to laugh at them , nor to tell them to "get a job". I was there in support of the girlfriend. My mother-in-law-to-be had apparently heard from the child benefits agency that her daughter had the right to unemployment money. Whereas the unemployment center had told us she'd have to do her waiting period again before getting benefits. So off to the unemployment agency who said "oops, mistake" and gave her a nice Dole Card. Happy queuing!
Being the good girlfriend that I am, I also got up at 8.45, I drove her to the Big City and I waited outside for her, staring at the others in the queue. Lots of young people, lots of women with children and lots of immigrants. After that, we went to our favourite second-hand book store and probably spent the money she'll have made from the dole today.
Right now, I'm working. I need to refill my funds.

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The Fry

To the person who bought "The Hippopotamus" by Stephen Fry in FNAC Gent: YOU UTTER BASTARD! That book was mine! I wanted it! And they still don't have it re-stocked!

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The Outing

During an outing Saturday night with Sven and Ellen, Sven told us that the appartment underneath his (currently inhabited by two hot dykes) will be empty in January. The dykes are getting a house. Our eyes gleamed. We want that flat. Give it to us.
My parents however seem less enthusiastic. They're not big fans of their little girl talking about moving out. The guilt is crushing me.

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Manners

US Navy Etiquette

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yesterday

Saw gorgeous dykes yesterday during the Gentse Feesten. well, one couple of gorgeous dykes anyway. The urge to dance salsa in Baudelopark was big, but I could control myself.
After that we went to see Fahrenheit 9/11, which affected me a whole lot more than I thought it would. I thought I was pretty much prepared for everything. Guess again...

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Dykes

We're going out.
The girlfriend: short hair, gelled in some obscure pattern. Sunglasses. Three quarter tough jeans. Tough black top (mine). Trainers.
Me: long hair, loose. Red skirt. White top with beads and spaghetti straps. Sandals.
Do you think we fit some kind of stereotype?

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Camion

Lieve truckchauffeurs,

Vandaag hebt u een aantal keer met uw lichten naar mij geknipperd. Wat bedoelt u hier toch mee?
Heb ik te vlug weer ingevoegd waardoor ik bijna onder uw wielen terecht kwam? Werd ik achtervolgd door een troep vogels? Reed ik te snel? Komt er zwarte rook uit de uitlaat van de auto? Heb ik maar drie wielen meer?

Gelieve dit de volgende keer een beetje te verduidelijken.
Dank u wel.

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Warm, pt 2

Since my last post a thunderstorm broke out, which I had to endure alone. Now, I love the cool air in the evening, but thunder and lightning are not my cup of tea. I remember having too much fantasy as a kid (still do) and being terrified of lightning coming into the house through the chimney or what have you. The Girlfriend finds thunder and lightning fascinating, but alas, she is not here to protect me from the evils of the night.

Because of the cooler air I have now put on my extra-thick winter piggy-socks, underneath the short ensemble I mentioned before. I'm sure it's not exactly a sight you'd wish on the population, so I'll have to decline your want of photos. Though it did flatter me immensely, I must admit. (My legs are hardly my best feature sweeties, though this is beside the point)

Due to prejudice(?)/ wisdom(?) / lessons taught to me by my parents I turned off the computer for the duration of the storm and reclined on my bed with a book. Goblet of Fire, more precisely. Again. I'm saving "the curious incident of the dog in the night time" for those lonely hours at work, when no-one is there. Bloody hilarious. I'm afraid to admit I even glanced at 10 minutes of Beverly Hills 90210... I remembered why I never liked that show (that hair! those ugly people!), I much prefered Melrose Place, with all its gay hugging... I even kept it on tape... the hugs, the rest of the show didn't interest me at all... my first slashy inclination?

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warm

Getting home, stripping out of your skirt, decent top and bra. And putting on a sleazily short pair of shorts and ditto top.

Bliss.

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Oh dierbaar België

#Kweet nog hoe je zei "Hé lekker beest"!
Klonk toen in m'n oorren als een feest
hebben wij gelachen dag na dag
kon me zo verrrwarrrmen aan je lach#

Isabelle met een hoge krullende staart, tragische outfits, te grote oorringen en een hyperkinetisch dansje.
Eén van mijn eerste tien om te zien herinneringen (shut up, ik was nog een piepkuiken).
Ter ere van de nationale feestdag nog es te horen op Donna.
En dan zeggen ze dat ze daar alleen maar trash draaien!

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the wonderful wizard of beernem

The Girlfriend (who just informed me -by text- that she's watching my AbFab dvds at her dad's, thus increasing her fag status) and I went to Atari's for dinner, with him and his lovely boyfriend yesterday. Dinner was something pasta-ish. Since I'm no fan of pastas I quietly sipped my glass of water -in true Patsy Stone "I haven't eaten since 1971" style- and waited for the ice cream.
After watching the evolution from Little Atari to Big Atari on Patari's old home videos (and the evolution to "diction classes", auntie Marleen and the crappest Christmas presents either) and Baloo's threats that he was going to wear Matari's night gown that night, it was time for something of an even more queenish nature: ULALA!
We upped and downed and lefted and chu'ed!
And I was totally and utterly crap!
But I love Ulala!
I want to be just like her when I grow up...

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Suspicious Minds

Why has the king been on the radio for 15 minutes already?
(not Elvis. Albert.) And why did a car with Vlaams Blok posters pass me by today? Were they trying to kill me or something? Knowing I'd be mad, hit the gas and lose control?
I'm on to you!!
I'm on to you!!
It's all a plot I tell you! A plot!

(And I will personally castrate that bloody grey bastard tomcat (tm) who chose to sit on our windowsill outside, causing my sweet ladylike Dotte (tm), who was inside on that same windowsill, to hiss and claw at the window at 4am this morning, thus waking me up from a too-light sleep.)

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Urgh.

I think I hurt my back while vacuuming too enthusiastically. And HOT. Boy is it hot in here now. I stripped down from jeans and T-shirts to top and slutty shorts (very slutty shorts).
The Girlfriend got up at an ungodly hour to go to work (for free) and I kept sleeping. Or tried to. I was awoken by a text (the girlfriend, telling me I talked in my sleep) and a phonecall from the Ghent area, which I cancelled. I do not answer the phone in my pyjamas at 8.30 when I don't know who's on the other end of the phone, thank you very much. Could be someone trying to sell me insurances.
Or worse.
Someone I actually know. *shudders*

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Huang

The girlfriend and I are big fans of crappy crime TV Shows. Including Special Victims Unit. On it, there's a psychiatrist and "expert of the criminal mind": Dr Huang.
Dr Huang is the kind of shrink that can recount a person's entire life and personality without ever having met them. "He strangled a blonde woman with a leather belt you say? Oh, obviously his mother never accepted him! You're looking for an older man, possibly impotent and he'll work in construction". It causes me to hurl things at the TV and go off on a rant about Dr Huang's own fucked-up psyche. (causing the Girlfriend to miss half the episode and trying to suffocate me with a pillow - Huang would say that's a clear sign of having had sleep problems and blonde hair as a toddler... yet, this is beside the point-)
And now .... I did it too. I "Huanged". As someone at work was talking about her boyfriend's psychopath boss I caught myself uttering phrases like "oh but of course he does that, it's the only way he can feel powerful" and "he's angry that he's losing control over his employee, he needs to feel loved and needed by him"...

I really, really need help.

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"De L van..."

Waarom de L van lima?
Het woord "lima" kan toch niet het eerste zijn waar een mens aan denkt als ie een woord moet zeggen dat begint met de letter L? Waarom dan? Waar komt het uit voort?
Wat is er mis met Luc, libelle, lesbisch, lepel, lip, Lutgard, Levenslijn, Laura en Lorenzo?

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what the hell?

Freudian Inventory Results

Genital (36%) you appear to have a pessimistic and destructive outlook on life. Latency (60%) you appear to have a good balance of knowledge seeking and practicality. Phallic (46%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure. Anal (50%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity. Oral (43%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence.

Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

They're implying that I'm psychologicallly balanced yet destructive?
Told you Freud knew nothing!
In NO WAY am I psychologically balanced!

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Oi! You lot!

The business Men in your BMW-jeeps, always looking for something in your briefcase while you're driving (are there any mountains in Belgium? Any rough terrain? No. Why the fuck do you need this kind of fuel-guzzling car then?), so quick with the light flickering, with the overtaking from the right, with the general "let's drive 150 here". Yes YOU!
I'm sick of you.
Next time you come racing my way, I'm not getting out of your way, do you hear me? I'm staying there, in my dirty, five year old Citroën and I'm flipping you the finger! Ha!

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Polka dots

I get home, rather early, from an absolutely shit day at work. I'm exhausted, I look like death warmed up and I'm in a right mood. Glared at an old lady when she didn't get out of my way quickly enough in the supermarket. Turned up the radio when I heard the "chainsaw" song (Limp Bizkit... don't ask) and I fear I even headbanged in the car.

What do I find waiting for me? This huge lumpy package.
Question. Why do Brits write "small package" on packages that are by no means small? Is it wishful thinking? Do they think it will cause optic illusions and postal services will charge less?
Whatever the reason, as I opened this -allegedly- "small" package, I found a pink polka dotted bag. Pink polka dots are fantastic. And there's more! There was actually stuff inside! Feline stuff... Someone had raided the Next-shop! A trendy noteblock, a cat photoholder, a cat clock and a Piglet keychain! Something to keep Severus Snape company as guardian of my work keys?

I'm still exhausted, but feeling considerably more cheerful!

*smooches and squishes Madscot*

Going to the cinema with my hyper-sounding sweetie tonight. I phoned her with the work phone. Oh, so shoot me! She's already eaten two pieces of pie and has been stuck with familymembers all day long... I fear I might not get her down from the ceiling.
And remember all the books we bought in Fnac on Saturday? She's finished them...
I guess we'll HAVE to go back now...

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oh dear


You speak eloquently and have seemingly read every
book ever published. You are a fountain of
endless (sometimes useless) knowledge, and
never fail to impress at a party.
What people love: You can answer almost any
question people ask, and have thus been
nicknamed Jeeves.
What people hate: You constantly correct their
grammar and insult their paperbacks.


What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thank god I'm not a musical snob with Accordeon Man going for it again... sometimes, I wish for rain again...

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oh bondage, up yours!

How does the president of the United States deal with criticism and protesters?
You can find out here (through Titti)

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Craving

The girlfriend and I finally indulged in our craving.
We went to Fnac.
Spent about an hour there and came out with considerably less money and more DVDs and books.
Blissful!

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My poor baby

Baloos of the world, rejoice. My Dotte hurt her paw again. Yet again. In a fight, with that same evil grey tomcat.
I've noticed it for a few days now, but my parents -as usual- are deaf, dumb and blind to it. "but she walks". Yes, she does, but when you touch her paw she pulls it away and she holds it awkwardly when she's sitting or lying down.
"oooh we won't go to the vet for that... wait a few days see if it goes away..."
Ah yes... because it worked so well Last time, that did...

Good news? The girfriend is very much not-dead and on her way overhere!
AND her mother phoned me... to ask where she was... Who gave her my phone number?!

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Meh

- last news from the sweetie at 3.40 this morning ... "Rain here, I'm a bit drunk, pick me up tomorrow?". Pick her up WHERE? No news from her since. All my text messages to her fail. When I phone, I get her voicemail. Still in no-antenna land? Battery dead? Sweetie dead?!
- I heard there've been accidents on the roads from Luxemburg to Brussels. Is the girlfriend coming from Luxemburg? Is she hurt? Is she stuck in traffic? do I need valium?
- and then I've not even mentioned the spots of gigantic proportion that once again marr my less than perfect face! Well... I have mentioned them now.
- *pokes mobile phone*... nope, still no news...
- Got home to find Mother sleeping on the sofa. Vacuumed and dusted upstairs, feel like a housewife without a house. Note to self: get a house!

Good news? Unless something dreadful happened (ok, definitely need some prozac), the girlfriend is coming home today!!

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Mijn vriendin

-"Mijn vriendin heeft vandaag proclamatie"
-"Ik ga vanmiddag nog met mijn vriendin weg"
-"Mijn vriendin is op reis op het moment"

Hebben ze het door? Sommigen denken waarschijnlijk dat ik het over mijn boezemvriendin heb (vorige week nog werd ik gevraagd of de zoon van een collega geen schone gast was) of dat ik maar één vriendin heb en een heel geïsoleerd leven leid, één vrouw (de leukste) heeft het door.
Nu wachten op de geruchtenmolen en we moeten niet meer op onze woorden letten.

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Conversations today?

- who died how (work)
- "watch Piglet, it'll go boom!" (a five-year-old before enthusiastically throwing his duplo blocks on the floor)
- "do you have mosquitos in your room?" (13-year-old, upon seeing Huge Spot on my forehead)
- bicycle theft (work)
and - how was work (parents)

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What?

Are the ardennes suddenly filled with mountains or something?
Has it become Switzerland?
Why can't I reach my girlfriend on her mobile??
We get as far as "Sweetie!" "Sweetie!" "oh bugger" -line is dead-

Bloody walloons...

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accordeon guy.
Is back.

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112

Could someone please explain to me why some idiot in my street thinks it necessary to play the accordeon?
And not just that, but the choice of song (the birdie song for crying out loud) leaves a lot to be desired.
Should I call the police or an ambulance?

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Suprabazar!

My baby and I went to Suprabazar today. Oh, what an outing.
We decided against being decadent in Gent (going to Fnac for an hour, then going back home), Roeselare (been there, done that) and staying at home (aargh no!) to just start driving and see where we ended up. And we saw. Plenty of bathroom furniture (too expensive), jacuzzis, sofas (she likes the cheap sofabeds.. I like the expensive leather ones), chairs and tables, a strange collection of cheap DVDs (one series of AbFab and Spooks, 60s films and lots and lots of Star Trek.... -the girlfriend bought "Alias"-), car tuning things ("NO FEAR" stickers, vintage accelerating stick thingies) - we searched in vain for a rainbow sticker but bought cat shaped sunblock thingies-, toys and clothes.

I dropped her off in Aalbeke (cheerful name) tonight where she's leaving for a camping trip (eurgh, tents!) with some friends tomorrow morning. I don't think I'll survive a whole week without her...I'll have to bury myself in work and food to deal with the loss.
On my way to getting fat.
Wish me luck!

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Spam

I got the most insulting spam today... "You can be smart!"

Thanks...

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today...

-... I was ten minutes late (see earlier post) due to a little detour and went home half an hour early. I have some overtime from last week.
-... my co-workers had a drink to the holiday period. Fizzy wine or orange juice. Everyone went for the wine. At 10 am. Afterwards one kept blushing, another nearly fell asleep with a family and yet another bumped into my chair.
- ... I learnt that it is not my job to tell a 15-year-old she can't go to on the next year at school (because she only went to school two months last year) but I should let the school handle that. Even if that means a month delay.
- ... a four-year-old pressed his chubby little finger on my nose-stud and went "what is that?"
- ... a thirteen-year-old in the same family encouraged me to "tune" my car and make it the johny-car he felt was right for me.
- ... a truckdriver honked at me. For no apparent reason.
- ... my mother greeted me with the words "Hi Piglet! Your car tax has arrived! 400 euro!". And a good day to you too mother.
- ... my girlfriend kept singing "I need a hero" (Shrek 2) at me on MSN.

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crazy in love

She's about 45, the secretary at work, a divorcee with three kids.
And she was giggling.
Giggling like a teenage girl.
She was in love, with a 47-year-old musician. And he was in love with her back. For six weeks now. She was practically radiating love and happiness.
I sat there, and grinned.
And said nothing.
Even though I desperately wanted to say "I know just how you feel" and tell them all about my sweetie.

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sleeping

I ended up taking the wrong exit to work today. Instead of passing by Loppem and Ruddervoorde (doesn't it sound exotic?) I passed Houthulst, even Beernem.
It was then I realised something was off and turned around.
The strange thing is, I have no clue where I went wrong.
Bizarre.

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