Dear weather,

I know, we'd not had much of a winter yet. But that doesn't mean we missed one. I for one, did not. So all this "let's wait till it's nearly spring to get the big guns out", it just doesn't do it for me. It'll be March tomorrow. March. That sounds like spring already.
That also means that there's not a decent winter jumper/cardy/sweater/shirt to be found anywhere anymore. Only light cleavage-d spring outfits. For those of us who enjoy looking sexy in all types of weather, this is not an ideal situation.

So kindly cut it out alright.
To quote Army of Lovers, "Let the sunshine in"...

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Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

proof Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you! (except when it comes to kitties, you're doomed there

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Hear that people!
I'm sweet and considerate
Through Mortifyd

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And meanwhile

Since my family-case-load will be downsized from 4 to 3 starting next week, I've been given some other tasks to tide me over (while I take up all the overtime I've done in the past 10 months, which they might have forgotten about). Other tasks including:
- working out some new methods of working from the books I've read, preferably in writing
- inventing other new methods of working
- finishing the new introduction flyer by next week and making sure there are enough copies to last a lifetime

ooo-kay then. Apparently this is what psychologists normally do. Not the whole counseling thing, oh no. We leave that to those with bachelor's degrees. We do the thinking-about-new-methods. It sounds awfully boring to me, but we'll see.

Meanwhile I'm trying to print out my "open applications". Or some of them. First stop: psychiatric home care. Where I can "combine the psychiatric with the home". Or something. It would all work a little better if Soes didn't attack every piece of paper that comes out of the printer.
I don't think a crumpled letter with cat-teeth will make that much of an impression, do you?

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ag kak man!

I've got a "first-round" interview next week.
In a bloody CLB (school guidance type thing).
Why did I apply for that?
Oh right... money...

I've only just started looking for work and already I'm breaking the promise I made myself only last year.

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"I'm really glad to be here in Amsterdam"

Is what was on Bush' lips as he was ambushed by journalists today in Brussels. That and "I'd really like to thank you for your support on the war in Iraq".
"Actually George, that wasn't us"
"It wasn't?"
"No. You threatened to move Nato headquarters to another country when we opposed it too much, remember?"
"Oh... right..."
Fortunately his entourage told him to only utter "wait for my speech" to any questions.
"Are you having a good time Sir?"
"Wait for my speech!"
"Any plans of visiting Izegem?"
"Wait for my speech!"
"What kind of underwear do you have on?"
"a thong and... er... wait for my speech!"

But he should be happy. It's not just any president who gets a welcoming committee of a dozen drums-playing lesbians in pink!

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The good old days

Since the pregnant woman I replaced is now no longer pregnant and about to come back (in five weeks time), and spurred on by Madscot's success, I'm adjusting my CV (ooh, two pages now. Rather impressive) and preparing to apply for the very small amount of jobs there are in my field. Unfortunately the amount looks to be just about as depressing as it did last year.

It's job-seeking Piglet time again!
You can expect accounts of hilariously failed job-interviews, frustration at temping agencies calling me for nothing ("can we update your data and then we'll be sure to find you a job... as a clarktruck-driver..."), unemployment lines, bureaucracy and bastard interviewing psychiatrists. I bet you can hardly wait.

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Fairytale

Once upon a time there was a Potions Master-figurine called Severus Snape.
He was living on a mantelpiece in Belgium.
Adored and regal.

Only then, three monsters came from the seaside. And tried to eat him.
This is his story...


Severus Snape, bane of every Gryffindor... standing askew by manipulation of kitty-paws. This is no longer dignified. 


After disgracefully being tipped off the mantelpiece, an evil monster charges and looks up his robes. 


There is nibbling... 



Like a good Slytherin, the Monster tries to cover up the evidence. 

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Sexual harassment

I smacked my boss' arse today.
By accident!
I was passing her in a narrow space between a desk and the wall, my arms swinging beside me, like the gangly teenager I sometimes resemble. And there it was: her arse, in the way of my hand.

I think she kind of liked it...

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Cooking

I made spaghetti for the girlfriend.
My first ever independent act of cooking.
(of course I nearly tipped the whole bottle of olive oil in... but she didn't complain).

And a kid at work (from one of the families I work with) told me a queer joke.
I can't believe these still circulate.
*coughs*
So this gay couple are in the car and get hit by another car.
Other Driver: "Listen, I'll pay 1000 Euro and we'll forget about this"
Boyfriend of driver: "Honey, call the cops"
Other Driver: 2000 Euro
Boyfriend: "Honey, call the cops"
Other Driver: alright, 3000 Euro
Boyfriend: "Honey, call the cops"
Other Driver: Oh kiss my arse
Boyfriend: "Honey, the man has a suggestion"

I trust you find it as hilarious as I did.

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And then there's this...

Health officials in New York say they have found a new strain of highly drug-resistant HIV in a city resident

Perhaps fitting in the mood of Valentine's?
(through Titti)

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Angels

I bought Angels in America today, with the Standaard-coupon Ellen, Sven and Anke gave me for my birthday (thank you ladies and gentleman). I hope it's as good as I've been led to believe.

Oh. And The Girlfriend left the keys on the door (on the outside, indeed) as we left two hours ago. Nothing's missing from the house though. ....

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Happy Valentine's

The Girlfriend grumbled at me this morning! On Valentine's Day morning.
Ok, it was way too early (9.30). Ok, we'd been awoken three times during the night by hailstones thundering against our window. But that's no excuse, is it.
After wrestling with the second cat-carrier-bag we headed for the vet's.
And didn't even get to say goodbye to our favourite menace. He was grabbed from us by the vet's wife.

No more little furry kitten balls tonight.
Poor Kiwi.
Since we're babysitting tonight, we'll have to leave him on his own. To fend against two vengeance-seeking regularly assaulted female cats.
Oh dear.

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Tricked

She: "oooh it's Nicole Kidman"
Me. "What is?"
She: "this! Oh wow, fabulous. We have to watch this, sweetie, it's Nicole Kidman!"
Me: "oh, all right then"
She:"And I love this hero stuff!""
Me: "Hero stuff??"

... We're watching "Batman Forever" tonight....

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Watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the crap movie) gives me a craving for Buffy (the good series) series one... and two... and three...

Damn.

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There's the rub

As I heard this on the radio this morning, I wondered when Labour actually ceased to be a left-winged political party. "Only skilled workers are allowed to stay permanently, after English language tests. The changes mean only high-skilled workers will be allowed to settle in the UK - temporary labour from inside the European Union will now fill low-skill vacancies". The language tests I can agree with, but "only skilled workers". Let's organise a brain drain in poor countries, why don't we. That'll do them good. And if we need some idiot to dig out another coalmine, we'll ask for some Belgians or Frogs.
Where are the days of that weekend in May, when I was helping out at the Labadoux festival? It was warm, the sun was out, people were drinking too much, there was folk music and in the UK Labour had just won the elections after what? 20 years of Tory ruling? 50 years? 100? Who can tell anymore.
I was psyched. I know, over foreign politics. So shoot me. I never said I was normal. For a while I had complete and utter trust in Labour. A Scottish and Welsh parliament, the Good Friday Agreement (which always bugged me, because I remember very clearly they did NOT agree on Good Friday, but a few days after and I was determined never to let that name stick), possible peace in Northern Ireland, Mo Mowlam (sp?). And so on and so on.
So many years later (6? 7?), and Labour seem to have become the Tories.
When will Lib Dem have a chance at winning the election? It's the only chance for a possibly left-winged government in the UK...

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Off they go

In a fit of dyke Penis Envy (with capitals, indeed) I made an appointment to have our favourite (and only) tomcat Kiwi castrated.
-I can just picture the men crossing their legs with a pained look as they're reading this-
I'm sorry, gentlemen, but I could not stand the fact that Kiwi has a penis and testicles and I don't. As any good man-hating lesbian, my only reasoning was "chop chop". And so I phoned the vet, knowing very well our favourite redhead will become a lazy, fat bastard.

And now for the real reason... Sometimes our resident little pervert gets a bit overenthusiastic with his sisters... biting them in the neck and crawling on top of them. They don't like it. We don't like the idea of brother/sister incest (and ditto kittens). And poor Kiwi never gets his rocks off because the girls keep hissing at him.

I feel sorry for him though. I hope he doesn't lose all of his playfulness.

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Someone has to pay


The disgrace! 

Is nothing sacred anymore?
Nothing?
They knocked over Professor Snape!

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Conversations

The Girlfriend, to Soes (Evilest Cat): "socks, bring me socks, go, pick up my socks. Food will come to you". (Soes ignored her, in favour of chewing the biro The Girlfriend was holding)

This after she'd wanted to manipulate me into getting her socks.

I think she might turn out to not-die in a hospital soon.

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Frenzy

8am: I drop off the girlfriend at the hospital to have another blood test. We expect her to be out of there in an hour and then go to work. I head for work myself.
10am: still no news. I'm getting slightly worried and phone her. I get her voicemail. This means she's still in hospital. Still? For a blood test?!
11am: Her mum sends me a text, asking if I know anything. I don't. I get more worried and try to phone again. In my head I imagine the girlfriend is cut open on an operating table where surgeons are "having a look just in case" and fucking up.
12.30pm: I phone, yet again. I get the girlfriend. She's still in hospital. They're not done yet. More tests and photos and whatever.
1pm: The girlfriend tells me they'll take a CT scan and she's seen several docs. None of them have a clue what's going on. I race to the hospital. Worried out of my mind.
1.45pm: Finally, I'm there with her. Completely useless, but at least I can carry her coat and her backpack. And hold her hand.
We're back on monday, for an endoscopy.

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Piglet is pissed off.

I realise that the people at Casualty get a lot of hypochondriacs, I really do. I work in the social sector, I know the crap they have to deal with. But when someone has a letter from their GP (huisarts) you might want to think that they're not just there for the attention.
Not overhere though. When entering Casualty, you have to give your name, address and the name of your spouse. (I'm a spouse!) Then a bastard doctor comes and virtually pushes down your girlfriend's knickers (starts fondling them without an announcement) to "have a look at the abdomen" (GP thought it might be her appendix). The nerve! Not even an introduction first! And that on the first date.
Then to a kind ultrasound doctor and back to the Bastard. Who again, does the pushing down of knickers thing, squashes the abdomen, again asks the same questions in a kids-language, treating you and your girlfriend like idiots "didn't eat any spicy foods?", "when did you last have your periods?" (I think she'd recognise that pain you male prick of a man!), "had too much to drink? There's no shame in it you know", pushing and prodding around... to say that they can't find anything.
But could your girlfriend come back the following day at 8am, just in case, to draw more blood. Scared of a lawsuit in case she croaks, probably.
The shere arrogance and unfriendliness of it all.
I'm sorry we didn't bleed all over your hallways. I'm sorry you couldn't find anything. It's not our bloody fault the doctor thought it was necessary to come! Next time, we'll make sure we're half dead before we even look at the Casualty Dept again. Promise!

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Beat it!



Littlemoose pointed this fabulous piece of literature out to me. Perhaps I should buy it for when I have kids... hmm...

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I've got love bread in my tummy

I'm tired.
Spent all morning making an evolution report, then two house-visits and a visit to the toy-library. What is the English for a toy-library? toyrary?
For once, a busy day at work!
Hurray!

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