Eurovision 2006: Semi Final 1-7

A new year, a new logo. No more cutesy hearts, but something that looks like it came straight from a media player window. The kind of background you get when you play a slow song. Unsurprisingly, I quite like it. The new motto is not “Unite Unite Europe” or “Let’s be get happy and let’s be gay” but “Feel the rythm”. This reminds me of an old house/disco song, but I’m sure no copyright infringement was intended. Again, I quite like it. It makes Eurovision seem like a “real” contest, instead of a campfest.
But let’s quit the bitching and get on with the show.

1. Armenia: Andre - Without your love
A newcomer to Eurovision and a real treat for our geography lessons, because where the fuck is Armenia?? The Eurovision site describes it as “transcaucasian” which just sounds scary and ok, also pretty Russian. So we’ll just assume it’s somewhere near Russia and be done with it (seeing as Russia stretches from Poland to China, that’s not saying much, but hey, we’re too lazy to open up an atlas).
Right, the song, the Sweetie told me to mention the song as well. The first version of this song was fabulous, a mix of ethnic music, pop and probably embarrassing dancing. Probably in an effort to sound more “european” they kicked out half of the originality and ended up with Latin Ethnic-light. The choruses make up for the verses though, and as long as they bring Russian folk dancers, I ‘ll like this.
Clothes change?: they don’t realise the necessity of this yet
Hoping for: Russian folk dancers.

2. Bulgaria: Mariana Popova – Let me cry
The backing singers might sound like they’re reciting Hare Krishna incantations, but there’s nothing wrong with that. This song is a sweet ballad with a few American Idol shouty moments now and again. Not the worst of its kind, but not the best either. Unless she wears a Shiri Maimon dress perhaps... and looks the part. I’m holding my breath to see if they manage to keep all of the screaming at the end in tune.
Clothes change? Nope
Hoping for: out of tune screaming, hand movements.

3. Slovenia: Anzej Dezan – Mr Nobody
Oh, the first song with slow choruses and fast verses of the evening (yes, André, La Sakhra was so original and one of a kind), and also our first “you came in the night, like a ray of light” rhyme. Can I please have a big round of applause? It’ll take a strong man to resist the trance-y build up of this song and despite being a tough dyke, I’m powerless against it. He manages to perfectly rhyme “hero” with “sleeping tightly on your piiillow”, so in my book he can do no wrong.
Clothes change? Probably just the backing dancers
Hoping for: sing language. Just to see if they can match the paces of the song. Muha!

4. Andorra: Jenny – Sense tu
I love this song. A powerballad, but not the American Idol-kind. I don’t see her lifting her hand to remind herself how high a note to sing. I see her clutch on to her microphonestand and belt out the song angrily. How dare anyone leave this girl!? Hearing her sing “The nights are so cold/alone in my bed/without you” in sexy Catalan makes me want to go out to Andorra and look for her. Shouldn’t be so hard to run into her there, it’s the size of a postage stamp.
Honesty urges me to remind myself that I also quite liked last year’s Andorran entry “la mirada interior”, which completely bombed onstage, so perhaps I should prepare myself for possible disappointment. But Jenny’s no Dutch woman with big teeth! I have to keep the faith.
Clothes change? Oh no.
Hoping for: A Shiri Maimon dress

5. Belarus: Polina Smolova – Mum
Great! It’s Lordi! Oh no...it’s some girl with a weak voice on top of some synthesised rock sounds. Ah well. I’m expecting many a stroboscope light-induced epileptic attack to this song.
Some of Mariana’s many hits (in Bulgaria) were “you didn’t come” and “we can try again”. I am Goatboy! I have a dirty mind! And it beats talking about this heap of noise. I would like to link to the official Eurovision site and quote their explanation of the lyrics: “It's about a woman who would like to keep hold of the strongest and most real thing in love – the beginning. She knows in a way that everything is transient and she wants to cry and to forget.”
Right. Well, Goatboy couldn’t have put it better.
Clothes change? I’m dreading it.
Hoping for: A guest appearance by Lordi.

6. Albania: Luiz Ejlli - Zjarr e Ftohte
Ooh! Ooh! It’s a man in the fez!! Please let him wear the fez to Eurovision, please!
”Zjarr e Ftohte” means “fire and cold” but unless they bring flame throwers and penguins (perhaps that bloke from Papa Penguin can come back?) onstage, you’d never notice from the music. It’s ethnic-time again, so thumbs up from Piglet. The boy looks absolutely adorable cute and gay in his fez, so thumbs up from the assorted queens. The song switches between slow and fast, so thumbs up from La Sakhra and André Vermeulen. But I’ve no clue if this’ll do anything on stage. Don’t forget my advice about the penguins... flame throwers have been done before, I suppose.
Clothes change? Oh yeah!
Hoping for:Well, penguins obviously!

7. Belgium: Kate Ryan – Je t’adore
There we go, our first treat of Abba this Eurovision. At last! It took us six songs to get there! What can I say about Kate? Nothing. It would either be laughable (if I seem to be overly optimistic) or depressing (if I’m too pessimistic). But I like Kate. I do. Seeing as she’s catering for the disco abba-loving queen in all of us, it’s not that difficult to like her. So I wish her as good a contest as Deen had back in 2004. There.
And yay for knee-“swishing” and cute gay boys... if she keeps them in...
Clothes change? Don’t think so.
Hoping for: Singing in tune, a decent performance and a better backdrop. Thank you.

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