Eurovision News!

Starting next year there will be two semi-finals instead of one, and only the winning country and the Big Four will automatically qualify for the final. Speculation about possible results here (My guess is this will not result in high scores for the Big Four, but hey). Tough luck for the nrs 2-10 of this year because they will have to compete in one of the semi-finals in 2008. There's also speculation that juries will once again play a role in the Song Contest in an effort to lessen the impact of diaspora votes.

That means three Eurovision nights instead of two!
At least I hope so, I'd hate it if we only got to see the semi our own country participated in... Perhaps it's time for a EurovisionTV-channel, before the Song Contest takes over the whole month of May.

(thanks again Warskinny for rousing me from my Eurovision-sleep)

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No butch

Because my co-workers thought I'd be flattered when they told me they'd never guess I was a dyke, and told me how they have "nothing against gays and lesbians BUT don't understand why some women have short hair, wear ugly shirts and are unelegant and why some men wear too nice shirts and are too elegant.... Because of all of that, and because a lot of us in the queer community don't like 'em all that much either, I was going to post a photo of a fabulously butch dyke and poofy queer. But I can't find one.
Which is a bit of a let-down.

EDIT: I'm an idiot!
When in doubt, always turn to Eurovision! Here's my lovely butch:


(Click here if you want to see the only outfit The Girlfriend would ever consider marrying in.)

And my queen for today:
.

Unfortunately, perfect as these examples may seem, neither of these people have (as far as I know) ever said they were gay. So I might be showing off dykie and poofie straights.
Which would prove a rather fantastic point, but hey, that's for another one of my soapbox-rants.

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Geek club

Today I was yet again declared computer specialist at my job, after explaining to my eldest colleague that he couldn't find his webpages in the browser history because it automatically empties itself. I also taught him how to add websites to his "favourites" folder.
I saved another colleague when she thought she'd deleted a programme, by restoring it from the recycle bin.

I'm a genius, me! A genius!

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Observations in social conduct

I went for a stumble jog run on my own yesterday. Uusally the Girlfriend is dying behind me leading the way right next to me, but she was in a grumpy "I don't want to run"-mood yesterday (she made up for it today though). The difference was striking.
- Running alone you apparently command a lot more respect, especially from guys.
- You also get cruised more explicitly. Again by guys, unfortunately, but still it's cruising.
- Ogling pretty and not-so-pretty girls will still get you an either "What are you looking at me for"-glare, an "Is she fatter than me"-contemplation or a "Yeah, keep up the good work"-acknowledgement. Absent from these reactions is the (only right) response: "Dyke! Quit staring at me!"

And as I dropped off the ChickMobile at the garage tonight, I found myself practising a new routine with the mechanics. Usually I'm very No-Nonsense Defensive Piglet: "I know I'm a woman, but I'm not an idiot and I refuse to live up to your stereotypical views of women, thank you very much". Tonight I tried the "Clueless Piglet" approach: "The car makes strange noises when I turn, what do I know...", and yes, I got a much better reaction. The mechanic actually offered me a ride home. Which was... er... nice.

PS: I'm adding some more part-time hours to my part-time for three months: policy stuff back at my previous job, starting on Monday. Yay me.

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Time Go by, So lowlie

I know I've been going a bit overboard with the Youtube Goodness lately, but this was too good to miss. If you've got a minute, check out the best "Hung Up" cover ever (and if Warskinny's right, this person would like to take part in the ESC for Spain next year): here.

Thank you, Warskinny.

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Don't love me for fun, girl

I found myself singing along to Boyzone's "Picture of You" in the car this morning and it's brought on yet another a mini-existential crisis. See, I always hated that song, and not just because it was not-done to like boybands. I remember vaguely liking "When the Going gets tough" and that sad, slow thingie they had... what's it called... hang on... ah yes: "No Matter What". (Thank you wikipedia! Here, have a quote: "Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world, can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.” - Michael Scott / The Office US")
I think I mainly liked those songs because Stephen Gately had just come out, and well... I'm a sucker for popstars who are forced out of the closet kicking and screaming come out. Looking through the Wikipedia-list, I have to say that, to my horror and amazement I actually quite like "Love me For a Reason" as well. That's three Boyzone songs! Three!
I'm either turning into an old fart, finally realising my true musical potential (and god help us all in that case) or the autumn-fatigue-lack-of-sleep thing has finally got to me!

Tomorrow: "ThinkDay" at work! No matter where and when I temp, I always have to suffer through one of those... why, god, why!?

EDIT: Alright then, while we're on the topic of boybands, have another look at the "Do What U like" Take That Jello-video.

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Brokeback!

Two years after its release date I finally bought Brokeback Mountain. If I'd waited any longer they'd have taken away my Dyke Faghag-card. Name any kind of obscure, bad, ridiculous gay or lesbian film, chances are the Girlfriend and I have it. But Brokeback Mountain? Er... no. Not until today that is.
So, yes, my Dyke Faghag-Card is safe for the time being. Until people find out I never got around to buying "Philadelphia" on DVD...

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You were saying?

It's been a while since I've had that woozy too-much-sleep feeling. Actually, it's "too-much-sleep-and-anxiety-dreams"-feeling. Even though I've been up for ages, I still don't feel like I'm awake. I dreamt of giving a presentation and everyone laughing at me. Woe is Piglet! I take it this is the "grown up" version of the old classic "going to school naked"-dream or "sitting an exam and realising you've studied the wrong subject"-dream. Whatever it is, I don't like it. And kindly don't bother my sleep again. Thank you.

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But that's childish, so childish

Because Pet Shop Boys lyrics need to be quoted more often (and because this is the song that made me fall head over heels in love with the boys -and invent all kinds of theories about their sexlives, but that's beside the point-) and because, let's face it, we all all us uncool idiots remember being mocked for our musical tastes:

"She's made you some kind of laughing stock
Because you dance to disco, and you don't like rock
She'd make fun of you, and even in bed
Said she was gonna go and get herself a real man instead"
And all this to a happy dancebeat.

You know what, have another look at the video. You know you want to!

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Oh my...

The Girlfriend is rolling around on the floor, grunting, twisting herself in the weirdest positions..
"Yes! Finally! Lesbian sex on this blog. It only took four years!"
Actually no (it's bad enough I have to listen to my colleagues' tales of their sex lives during lunch... ), no sex, nor is she having an exorcism or a heart attack.
She's just taking her daily photo for her 365-project (Actually now she's flapping about because her photo didn't turn out the way she thought it would).
I swear it'd better be spectacular after all this!

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Hou het leuk voor jezelf!

Hilarische belspelletjes hier (na het artikel en de reclame, foei DSO!).
"Ja, er staat een knoert van een spelfout op het bord"
... oh ja?

Vanavond sluiten we traditiegetrouw de avond af met het VT4/VijfTV belspel (what do you mean, I need a life? Een oud-klasgenoot van me doet mee aan Beauty & the Nerd! Dan zijn belspelletjes niet zo slecht -en neen, ik bel er niet naar!)
"Hey, Eddy, je hebt 1000 Euro gewonnen! Proficiat! Wat ga je ermee doen?"
"Rekeningen betalen...."

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muziekjes

Is het nog iemand opgevallen dat veel hemeltergende radio-reclamespots nu gebruik maken van het nieuwe fenomeen "we zingen lachend mee met de jingle zodoende een betere band met het luistervee te smeden"?
Midas (was al zo irritant, nu nog erger), de afgrijselijke phonehouse met de breed grijnzende man die waarschijnlijk prozac inhaleerde bij het inspreken van de spot (en belt die man met "Mowgli" of begrijp ik dat verkeerd?) en er zijn er nog een paar...
Ten eerste, wie heeft dat uitgevonden en waarom zou het werken?
Ten tweede, vanwaar die ongepaste vrolijkheid bij auto-onderhoud en onnozele GSM's?
Ten derde, kunnen de makers hiervan publiekelijk bekogeld worden met tomaten?
En ten vierde, wie vindt die dingen in godsnaam leuk!?

Nee, dan liever de fokkiechamien!

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Kathy Griffin

I've got no idea who Kathy Griffin is, but so far she's made a great first impression!
This is what happened when she won an Emmy: "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus,” an exultant Griffin said, holding up her statuette. “Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now."

Read the full story ("Comic Kathy Griffin’s “offensive” remarks about Jesus at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards will be cut from a pre-taped telecast of the show, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences said on Tuesday… ") here.

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Moving on

Three years after I moved out, I finally went and cleaned out the rest of my old room back at my parents. Some books from uni, some books from before, embarrassing diaries, love letters (I thought I'd brought all the letters with me when I moved, but apparently I'm more popular than I thought), my angsty "the whole world is against me"-teenaged-scribbles and too much crap to be possible.

I tried to be tough and throw the worst stuff out (the Army of Lovers interviews I'd cut out of Joepie), but I did bring things with me that I know are just going on the attic to gather dust. My future children will probably have to throw it out when I die, and ten to one I'll never have looked at it again (because it's way too embarrassing). Ah well.

Still, it's amazing the stuff you find fascinating when you find it back (and haven't missed it in over three years): books on French grammar, on spelling, a big French-Dutch dictionary that I once won in an essay competition, my old Van Dale... Surely I couldn't leave that behind?! It's bound to come in handy! One day. Sometime. Ever. And what to think of the crappy jewellery I wore as a teenager? That's sentimental value, that! Or the seashells, or the little scribbled notes from one boring class in fifth year of Secondary School,....

Anyway. I do feel as if I've moved on, so to speak. My parents can refurbish my old room however the hell they want (and I hope to god they will) and The Girlfriend and I have just acquired five boxes full of crap! Wahey!

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Happy Birthday, sweetie!

I know the likeness between me and Piper here is striking. Our hair, our lips, we could be twins for crying out loud!! I didn't want to seem arrogant by posting a photo of someone who's obviously so much like me, but then I thought some people might not appreciate certain other ladies that I could have posted in your honour.
So, here's my twin Piper, for your birthday!

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Sandals! Socks!

Men wearing socks in sandals are strolling by, it's impossible to get to the house by car, the smell of hot dogs and hamburgers is in the air and "Garry Hagger" is blasting through the speakers in the street.
Yep, it's time for the annual cycling "Tour de Fair"!
For the 26 years I've lived in this city I have never understood what the big deal is, it's just a bunch of guys on bicycles and they're all trying to be the first to cross the finish line (some metres from my doorstep, oh joy). I'm expecting company in a few minutes though. He'll doubtlessly educate me why this *is* a big deal and I'm just dense. In the mean time I'll just hide in the living room....

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Freezing

I'm cold. It's early September and my hands are freezing off.

I started a new job yesterday and well... I'll reserve judgement (and definitely not blog about it), but so far it seems that all their reports are in.... comic sans.
How do I tell them how utterly wrong that is without being arrogant or autistic?

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Eat this, Kate Ryan



/gratuitous Eurovision plugging.
/fantastic use of Karola's long lost wind machine.

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Eh?

For some reason, probably because the rest of the country is getting antsy, I'm feeling nervous about the start of the new school year tomorrow.

Not that I'm weird or anything.
Or it could be nerves for the new job I start on Tuesday (and the realisation that I miss the disfunctional and nice colleagues from my last job)... .

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Eurovision Dance Contest

I'll admit I tried to get excited about this, because I *love* "Dancing with the stars". It's embarrassing, but I do. I love sequins, feathers stuffed in arses, Drama (with a capital D) and the occasional leg thrown up in the air. Hey, everyone needs a hobby, right. So yesterday's show should have been fabulous for me: The Eurovision theme tune, the international bitching, Graham Norton (for crying out loud!) and more sequins than I usually see on a given Saturday.

Wrong.
For one thing, it seemed like every country's "Dancing with the Stars" (even Rwanda's, if they had one) had a bigger budget than the Eurovision Dance Contest. There were about five people in the audience and the couples were either professional dancers or ... winners of "Dancing with the stars". Excuse me? Either they're all professionals or none of them are.
Despite Graham's fabulousness ("the lines are now closed. Les votes sont closed"), the show was boring as hell. I couldn't even find it in me to be particularly bitchy (though Bruno and Len, the BBC commentators tried their best: "The Germans have always been a bit stiff, right?!"

Some things we did pick up:
- a loosened tie is very hip
- too many facial expressions are not (Bruno about the Spanish contestant: "if he pulls more of these ridiculous faces, his teeth are gonna fall out!"),
- Everyone does Latin, especially a Passo Doble (because it's Drama, sweeties), but hardly anyone can pull it off. The Spanish kept smiling for god's sake!
- When someone (Ukraine) finally goes for Ballroom, even I breathe a sign of relief
- Sweden deserves extra points for dancing a Passo Doble on Europe's "The Final Countdown".
- Austria dress up as flight attendants, which is nice. And in a dance that is meant to "express the individuality of their country" they dressed up as pirates. Yes, because Austrian pirates were feared throughout the world. One word sweeties: "Lederhosen". They should've got Rufus to model for them.
- The UK nearly gets strangled in a costume-change gone wrong (the most memorable thing of their whole performance)
- Germans dancing in London! Oh! For some reason this nearly brought me to tears. "Fifty-five years ago, would anyone have ever thought there'd come a time when Germans would once again dance in London?! Eh?! Eh?!" I proclaimed somewhat drunkenly (coca cola) and hysterically to my friends. They all replied with silence. Heathens.
- Not all (male) ballroom dancers find it necessary to shave their armpits. Que?!

So yes, the Eurovision Dance Contest. Finland won. Because they were boring and decent. And came last in the running order.

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